Rambling

When I started this blog, I had high hopes.  I thought it would be the perfect place for thoughts that needed a little more development than 140 characters would allow.  I scoffed at friends whose posts in their study-abroad blogs began with “Sorry it’s been a while since I posted…”  Every time.  And yet, here I am, starting my post with “Sorry it’s been a while since I posted.”

Anyway, I wanted to share a bit of life advice with the little slice of Internet void that reads my blog (so, me, when I reread my post later).  As a college senior, my entire year has been spent amping up to leave the nest I’ve created at school and head off to an exciting adventure.  Left and right, my peers have been getting jobs.  It’s actually been more of a quiet process than I assumed it would be.  I braced myself for someone posting on Facebook about being #blessed and finding a job every time I logged in.  It surprisingly didn’t happen.  Sure, I saw some, but mostly I would see people posting about getting into their dream grad school, which didn’t seem like as much of a personal attack because they were just delaying figuring out a post-grad plan by going to school for longer.  (That’s not a jab at people going to grad school, especially for pre-Med people and stuff.  I just don’t even have enough of an idea of what to do to apply to a program.  Ha.)

So I’ve gone through this year more focused on the future than ever.  Which takes a toll on you a little bit.  I have outlined a tentative plan for myself, and because I’ve been trained to be ever-focused on the future, I keep worrying that I won’t be happy with my plan and I’ll miss DC forever (my plan involves moving to Boston in September).  I get sad about leaving college because sometimes I feel like I’ve only just now found my home with Club Cross Country.  “Will I find friends in Boston?” is my main thought.  I worry about this so much.  But then I have a flash of realization that first of all, I won’t get stuck in Boston.  If I don’t like it, the longest I’m stuck anywhere is until the lease on my apartment is up.  Second of all, once I’m there and have a job ideally I will be just living life.  Here I am not just living life.  I’m living life and worrying about my future life and being a student and having a job and trying to have a social life and exercise all at once which is very difficult.  True, I will still try to have a social life and exercise, but besides work those will be my main focuses.  And that makes me so excited!

No matter where I am, there will be a transition.  College is ending, it’s true, and staying in DC won’t prolong my college experience (unfortunately).  I’m pretty notoriously bad at making transitions — the last giant one was coming to college, and I was terrible at it.  So while I apply for jobs, I have to keep my true goal in mind.  And that’s living in the moment.  I’m going to let myself be sad about leaving my home in DC because hey, that IS sad.  But I just have to remember that what I’m going to is just as awesome, it will just take some getting used to.  So hey, future me: I hope you’re living in the moment, otherwise this post is kind of pointless. 🙂

 

 

 

 

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